With all the health-care issues in the news lately, I'd be remiss if I didn't share some of the medical oddities that have come across the Weird Wires of late. If you think the dentist who takes a snort of the gas before he gives you your share is weird, you haven't seen anything yet.

Where's My Towel?

A surgeon in Houston is ponying up $400,000 for a towel. This is no ordinary towel, of course ... it's the towel that he and his surgical team left wrapped around a patient's small intestine after a colon cancer operation. Apparently, someone miscounted before they stitched the poor fellow up.

On the bright side, the patient can now be washed in warm and tumble-dried.

When Good Mowers Go Bad

A groundskeeper in Novato, Calif., was just going about his business, mowing a fairway, when his previously trusted mechanical pal, his riding mower, turned treacherous. He found himself on the ground, with the snarling mechanical beast flailing away at his chest. A foursome of golfers, no doubt employing holy water and cabalistic incantations, got the mower off him and rushed him to a hospital, where he was treated for lacerations. Did I mention that this happened on the 13th hole? That can't be a coincidence.

What would Carl from "Caddyshack" say?

Hold The Pickle!

A Knoxville, Tenn., McDonald's has settled with woman who claimed that she was severely burned by a hot pickle which slipped out of a hamburger when she took a bite. The lawsuit claimed that the pickle was "defective and unreasonably dangerous" and "breached an implied warranty." Her husband got in on the action, too, claiming that he'd lost "the services and consortium" of his wife.

I can hear it now: "Not tonight, honey, I've got a pickle." What I'd like to know is how she got a burger that was THAT hot from a fast-food joint.

What's The Bag Limit?

A fisherman in Jackson County, Mo., thought that he'd hooked a big one, then decided after a bit that a turtle had grabbed his bait. After a fight, he landed his catch: a prosthetic arm. It had been tied to a rock and heaved into the waters of the lake. Police searched the waters of the lake for the unfortunate owner of the arm, but found nothing. When the story hit the local news, TWO parties stepped forward attempting to claim the arm. Don't you just love these modern-day Cinderella stories?

Coming in the next edition of Weird Chronicles cooking tips: Preparing and serving medical artifacts.

Urban Legend Of The Week

Ever wondered what makes Pringles potato chips so unique? Well, contrary to a popular schoolyard rumor, it is NOT leftover McDonald's french fries. The story goes that the unsold fries are placed into special dehydrators, then flaked and shipped to Pringles plants. This is one of those simple cost-based problems. If such a process took place, I couldn't buy a can of my beloved salt and vinegar chips for a buck and a quarter.

How's life in your end of the world? Sun demons cavorting in the peonies? Bigfoot shedding his winter coat in your garage? Drop me a line.

Previous Stories:

• July 6, 2001: Driving While Weird
• June 29, 2001: Crazy From The Heat
• June 22, 2001: Mayo Munchers Need Not Apply
• June 8, 2001: Welcome, Weird Employees
• June 1, 2001: Have A Weird Vacation
• May 25, 2001: Danger, Danger Everywhere
• May 11, 2001: Welcome To The Weird Wide Web
• May 4, 2001: Things To Do In The Dark
• April 27, 2001: Weird Omens And Wacky Portents